Tag Archives: surrender


27 Feb

I was hanging out with a girlfriend the other weekend, getting ready to go out for a relaxing movie/dinner/catch up combo night. This friend, I’ll call her Jamie, cus that’s her name, has recently lost some weight and is looking fit, healthy, strong and honestly fantastic! Not only has she lost some weight she informed me, but she’s actually reached the holy land, the final destination, Le pie in Le sky number. You know the one. Yes ladies and gentlemen…Jamie has reached her goal weight.  Loud thunderous applause. Aaaand the crowd goes Wiiiilllllddddd – (said in booming Oprah voice) World changed right!? Ehhhhh… welllll… mmmmm. No.

It turns out losing weight does NOT solve the world’s problems, and a lot of times doesn’t even resolve our own.  Say WHAT!? Now don’t get me wrong. Losing weight is a great thing, in fact it’s the best thing you can do for an overtaxed, overweight, over the heaviness of it all body. Not carrying around an extra 20 or 50 pounds of weight every day really does free up a lot of energy, resolves a host of health problems, and makes navigating the world a lot more comfortable.
However, it does not change the most important part of our physical experience. Losing weight does not change the nature of the mind.
Now I’m sure weight loss changes  brain chemistry, balances hormones, and may even get you in sync with the tides of the moon or some mystical experience like that. I wouldn’t be one bit surprised what feeling connected to your body can do, but WOWZA what a mind can do.
For the rest of the night, all I heard baby girl talk about was the millimeter of skin hanging off her left arm, and the lines on her forehead and whether she should botox her brow and ohmygosh why am i nitpickingmyselftodeath craziness!! In that moment we both got hit upside the head with some real truth.

Any action taken from a place of NOT loving you is a temporary fix.
As soon as you’ve lost the weight, the mind will simply find something else that’s “wrong”, and off you go again. An unquestioned mind is a surefire recipe for self-criticism, disappointment, and at it’s worst pure, unadulterated self-hatred.
You don’t like your body so you lose weight, but now you realize you don’t like yourself . Snap! Whats a girl to do?!
If you are on a quest to FIX everything wrong with you, and IF for some reason you’ve put ANY piece of your life on hold until said thing is fixed. I got news for you sistah friend. The problem is not your _____(fill in the blah)____ , the problem resides in your mind. The only place real “fixing” can begin.
Really loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are, is the only way to experience lasting peace and happiness. Imagine living as if everything you got goin on is perfection, down to the hair on your chinny chin chin. What if you never again felt the need to fix you? Doesn’t mean you can’t still change what you want, but do it from a place of love as opposed to from a place of improvement. Do you see the difference?
You may like your hair to be thicker, skin to be clearer, butt to be smaller, but you don’t need any of them to feel good.  What if you could just let it all go and really love yourself exactly as you are. Next time the nasty voice comes up, you know what you could do? You can even love the nasty voice! Say “Thanks ass-hole”, just kidding, say “Thank you nasty voice, thanks for sharing and I love you”. Doing this on a regular basis silences your inner critic.
A mind not at war with itself, a cheerful spirit, a heart overflowing with love. Would you trade whiter teeth and a “perfect” body for a happy heart so in love with life? Hell no!
Happiness. Do you know how wildly attractive that is? Thats why people love babies! Babies don’t give a F! They just lay there, like little blobs and we love the hell out of them. Try being a baby this week… not doing, not fixing, not striving, just being, loving and accepting you and everyone you come in contact with, and see the calming influence you hold.  Let me know how this ONE step changes everything.