Archive | February, 2013


27 Feb

I was hanging out with a girlfriend the other weekend, getting ready to go out for a relaxing movie/dinner/catch up combo night. This friend, I’ll call her Jamie, cus that’s her name, has recently lost some weight and is looking fit, healthy, strong and honestly fantastic! Not only has she lost some weight she informed me, but she’s actually reached the holy land, the final destination, Le pie in Le sky number. You know the one. Yes ladies and gentlemen…Jamie has reached her goal weight.  Loud thunderous applause. Aaaand the crowd goes Wiiiilllllddddd – (said in booming Oprah voice) World changed right!? Ehhhhh… welllll… mmmmm. No.

It turns out losing weight does NOT solve the world’s problems, and a lot of times doesn’t even resolve our own.  Say WHAT!? Now don’t get me wrong. Losing weight is a great thing, in fact it’s the best thing you can do for an overtaxed, overweight, over the heaviness of it all body. Not carrying around an extra 20 or 50 pounds of weight every day really does free up a lot of energy, resolves a host of health problems, and makes navigating the world a lot more comfortable.
However, it does not change the most important part of our physical experience. Losing weight does not change the nature of the mind.
Now I’m sure weight loss changes  brain chemistry, balances hormones, and may even get you in sync with the tides of the moon or some mystical experience like that. I wouldn’t be one bit surprised what feeling connected to your body can do, but WOWZA what a mind can do.
For the rest of the night, all I heard baby girl talk about was the millimeter of skin hanging off her left arm, and the lines on her forehead and whether she should botox her brow and ohmygosh why am i nitpickingmyselftodeath craziness!! In that moment we both got hit upside the head with some real truth.

Any action taken from a place of NOT loving you is a temporary fix.
As soon as you’ve lost the weight, the mind will simply find something else that’s “wrong”, and off you go again. An unquestioned mind is a surefire recipe for self-criticism, disappointment, and at it’s worst pure, unadulterated self-hatred.
You don’t like your body so you lose weight, but now you realize you don’t like yourself . Snap! Whats a girl to do?!
If you are on a quest to FIX everything wrong with you, and IF for some reason you’ve put ANY piece of your life on hold until said thing is fixed. I got news for you sistah friend. The problem is not your _____(fill in the blah)____ , the problem resides in your mind. The only place real “fixing” can begin.
Really loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are, is the only way to experience lasting peace and happiness. Imagine living as if everything you got goin on is perfection, down to the hair on your chinny chin chin. What if you never again felt the need to fix you? Doesn’t mean you can’t still change what you want, but do it from a place of love as opposed to from a place of improvement. Do you see the difference?
You may like your hair to be thicker, skin to be clearer, butt to be smaller, but you don’t need any of them to feel good.  What if you could just let it all go and really love yourself exactly as you are. Next time the nasty voice comes up, you know what you could do? You can even love the nasty voice! Say “Thanks ass-hole”, just kidding, say “Thank you nasty voice, thanks for sharing and I love you”. Doing this on a regular basis silences your inner critic.
A mind not at war with itself, a cheerful spirit, a heart overflowing with love. Would you trade whiter teeth and a “perfect” body for a happy heart so in love with life? Hell no!
Happiness. Do you know how wildly attractive that is? Thats why people love babies! Babies don’t give a F! They just lay there, like little blobs and we love the hell out of them. Try being a baby this week… not doing, not fixing, not striving, just being, loving and accepting you and everyone you come in contact with, and see the calming influence you hold.  Let me know how this ONE step changes everything.


The Real Reason I Stopped Eating Sugar

7 Feb

So I met some friends for lunch today. We went to the cutest little french restaurant. As soon as stepped in I was greeted with the most beautiful dessert case and the smell of fresh croissants wafting to and fro. At the table, awaiting my arrival was of course, a fresh basket of french bread…everyone was digging in. And I have to say…I was not tempted in the least! Now anyone with food “issues” can understand what a monumental moment this is. I see bread basket, I eat bread basket. That’s pretty much how this use to go down. And if you were too slow to get a second piece… sorry for ya! So this was a heavens parting, clouds disappearing kind of moment. A choir of angels were singing Hallll -le – lu-jah in the background. Everyone could hear it. I felt…in a word…awesome!


Ok so what the hell does this have to do with not eating sugar? Well, once upon a time, not too long ago, I lived in a far-away land called denial. Sweat pants were the daily uniform and sugar was my BEST friend.  If I didn’t step on the scale it was as if what I ate didn’t count. When I finally had to weigh in at a Dr.’s office I got the shock of my life. I was over 200 pounds. Again!!!

The feelings of shame and defeat that come with weight gain are bad enough. I find it quadrupled when you’ve lost weight, been congratulated by everyone and their mama, and then sloooowly, (or quickly), begun the ascent to fatdom once again.

So I tried what any sane human being would do. Diet mania ignite! I joined WW, then Jenny Craig, and topped it off with a failed attempt at the Master Cleanse. And after all was said and done I was up 11 more pounds. HA! It turns out my body was SICK of being told what to do. I hadn’t listened to it all those months as I ate myself into oblivion, and now my wonderful, intelligent body was not about to take orders from me and bow to my iron will and demands. Nope. I cried, protested and wanted to push it harder, but my lifetime of dieting had officially reached the end of the road.

As a final resource and with total resignation, I decided to listen to the wisdom of my body. I figured if it could pump blood, digest food, breathe for me, fall asleep, and wake up without my say then maybe, juuust maybe it could teach me how to eat. Because I. Was. LOST!

But I knew my wires were crossed from all the processed shit I consumed on a regular basis. Cravings and compulsions were running the show! So my body told me to cut back on sugar (including refined white flour). It actually told me to not eat any sugar, at least to begin with. I innately knew that my body needed time to get off the white powdery crack cocaine of the food kingdom. This is where changing one’s “diet” differs from you better do what I say “dieting”. I knew in order to really feel my true appetite, I needed to tune out the loud white noise that was sugar. Now I’m not saying that I will never eat sugar, never ever again, but I must say I love, love, love the freedom I get from not eating it.  It’s the difference between white knuckling it through a lunch with my friends obsessing about the bread basket (or inhaling it), and feeling zero interest in something I know would make me feel foggy, craving, and a little insane. I didn’t quit sugar to lose weight or impose a strict rule on my body, although in the process I’ve lost 40 pounds and found a deeper connection to my natural appetite. I quit it because I value freedom above all else. And food had become my master. I was food’s bitch! Not cool. As I step into new experiences in my life, and grow more into the woman I really am, I just know I need all the sanity I can get. Connecting with my body feels so incredible and new. My belly is talking to me. OK that sounds weird, but does anyone else feel like this? I feel a sense of calm as I eat when I’m slightly hungry and stop when I’m comfortably full. I guess it’s an intuition. Either way, thank you body and for now, farewell sugar.